Random Story Time!

It's that time again! I have a new random story to share with you all. This time I was playing around with 3rd Person Limited POV (if that means anything to you, good. If not, don't worry about it) as well as some fun dialect writing.

Enjoy!

(ps - note that the pictures are more to give you a feel for the setting than anything else - they're not direct inspiration this time. Really the story stands alone but I figured pictures are pretty and stuff...)

They weren’t s’posed to be on the lake. He didn’t know about Yuri, but if Meemaw caught him out here she’d skin his hide. He could just imagine her voice, shrill with worry, “Sekai Jorgenson! How many times I gots to tell you to mind ya Elders!? You daft, bloody whelp of a boy…” Best she didn’t find out. Asides, he knew the ice-berry bushes on the far side of Deep Lake would be burstin-full and they had to get ‘em afore dark. Meemaw’d want a good batch for her feast pies. He just realized, with some chagrin, that they’d spent too much time girlie-flirting in the snowy meadow with Ghara and Pili. Now he regretted it. Well, just the loss of time. Not the flirtin’ part. Sekai rubbed his mittened hands together to make a little heat and scuffled along after Yuri, praying no one’s looking out to the lake-side today. 
         

It made sense to cut across the frozen lake, he told himself. Like Yuri’d said, what was the point of going around if they could save a couple hours skimmin’ cross the ice-top instead? With how cold this winter’d been, the ice musta been deeper than a full-growed snowbear standing on its tiptoes. Then again, each step they took Sekai could hear the ice groan and crackle deep b’neath his thick fur-wrapped boots.
          

“Yuri, ya’sure we shouldn’t just cut along the edge-like?”
                  

Yuri looked back at him with that defiant scowl, “Lawd, Kai, you in’t scared, are ya?”
                 

“A’course not!” Sekai puffed up his chest. “It’s just that I don’t care much fer a swim if ya catch my drift.” Yuri didn’t bother to respond, instead scoffing and trudging along once more.

Sekai couldn’t help but look back the way they’d come, the dim orange glow of the town-fire in the distance. Little wisps of smoke rising from the round huts. His mouth watered thinking of the juicy haunch of meat roasting over Meemaw’s cook-fire at home. It’d still be there cookin’ up when they got back. He took a deep breath, feeling the dry frigid air crackle around his nose hairs as they froze. His face-skin felt tight as tanned leather. The icy air steeled his nerves a bit and he slugged along in Yuri’s wake.
                    

“Da hell?” Yuri stopped of a sudden, craning his head to a spot over’t the middle of the lake, “Wassat?”
            

“What’chu talkin?” Sekai hurried over to his friend to get a better eyeful. Yuri pointed to the shadow just over a stone-throw away. Was it a dip in the ice? It couldn’t be a hole, could it? No one’s ever out on Deep Lake. Well, except for the two them today. But in’t no one s’posed to be on the lake. Ever. Not for fish, not for ice, not for nothin’, not so long’s the Tribe Elders preachin’ forbade ‘em all. Deep Lake’s avoided at all costs cuz the Evil Ones, erryone knows. Nobody be cuttin’ holes out in the middle the lake. It just wasn’t done. But, then again, maybe it was just a shadow and nothin’ to worry ‘bout. “I dunno Yuri. Let’s just give it a wide berth. Don’t want no thin ice under my moccasins, d’you?”
        

“May not be a hole… Let’s find out.” There was that familiar gleam in Yuri’s eye. The same gleam before the grand honey-fishin’ sceme in the big greenhouse. Before they’d ran starkers through Old Winnoa’s garden patch and out into the fresh snow fleein’ the bee swarm, hands full of drippin’ honeycombs. Before they’d got the whoopin’s on top of the mass of swelling stings. This was a bad idea. And Sekai knew it. But then again, when could he ever say no to Yuri?
           

The air all round them was still and quiet. How strange. He shivered down to his spine. But it wasn’t cuz the cold. He didn’t feel right. Maybe the Elders were right to warn them away. Sekai almost turned around right then. But something nagged at him. He felt the curiosity fightin’ with his better senses. Then it won. Slowly, cautiously, he and Yuri struck out toward the spot. The ice didn’t seem any weaker here than where they’s at before. Sekai felt a little thrill as curiosity scared away the fear.
             

As they got closer, Sekai could see it was ‘nfact a hole. A splatter of ice-rubble littered all sides of the hole’s jagged edges. Looked like the frozen lake’d finally cracked open after all these frigid years. But it wasn’t that fact that startled him and turned his blood cold as the ice they stood on. Rather, it was the single trail of footsteps that led out. 

Thanks again for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story today! Feel free to comment below any parts you especially liked (or didn't). I'd love to hear your thoughts! (Unless you didn't like it - in which case, I'll read your comment but I don't promise to love it.)

The Bucket List

No, this post is not going to be a riveting play by play of the acclaimed 2007 film with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. That being said, it WAS a good movie and you should go watch it... after you're done reading this post, of course.

No, today, I'll be listing MY bucket list. Or at least what it used to be and what's on it now.

For those of you not familiar with the concept of a "bucket list" - first of all, have you been living under a freaking rock!? And secondly, the general premise...

General premise... Ha! That never gets old...

... is that a bucket list = all the things you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket. Sentimental, I know. But that's really the gist of it. 

That brings us to a few weeks ago. I was looking through my old high school junk. I actually have a couple of boxes in the storage closet full of stuff I'll someday go through... or, you know, haul with me everywhere I move for the next 60+ years until one day I die and my children will have to sort through it FOR me - take THAT future children whose diapers I will change and thereby need reasons to get back at you or at least use as my stereotypical scapegoats!

My house they'll have to go through when I die... NO, I'm not a hoarder, I promise!
This is my modern art piece... uh, I call it... "Barnes and Noble ate my baby"

 ... Where was I? Oh yes...
While looking through my Senior Project binder, I found the "Goals I Want to Accomplish in the Next 15 Years" list.

It was pretty entertaining to see what I've accomplished in the 7 years since I graduated high school (yes, I'm a baby... yes, I'm old! Take your pick, readers). It was also entertaining to see the few items I would now consider pretty stupid.
I know what you're going to say - "but it says 15 years - it's only been 7" - yeah I know. So I've decided to take what I had and revamp it to share with you:

• The 8 Things I've Accomplished
• The 3 Things I'll Probably Never Do
• The 10 Things I Still/Now Want to Do

 

8 Things I've Accomplished (in the past 7.5 years)

1. Get accepted to a college/university of my choice
    Now let me just say, as an honor roll student in high school - this was a REALLY creative choice for my list. Let's just call it senioritis dumbassery. It's a medical condition, I swear...
Lucky for me, I DID get accepted to a private liberal arts school close to my hometown AND it WAS, in fact, my choice to go there.

Gotta love private school - I'm sure my mom was THRILLED that I became the ever-lucrative "English Major"

 2. Get a part-time job
     Whoa there, high school me, you're so darned ambitious! Again, rather difficult but since that time, I've had not one but FIVE part-time jobs (one I still do) and now a full-time job. Go me!

3. Take theatre classes and workshops
    As a Theatre minor, this was kind of a given. But at the time, I was starting school to be a teacher... which slowly evolved into being an English major doing my MIT (masters in teaching) laaater... which became the English major, Theatre minor now glorified secretary who writes snarky blog posts and acts in/directs community theatre shows whenever possible. Guess I always knew I loved theatre...

"What do you do with a B.A. in English?..."

ps - If you got that reference, we can be friends. If you didn't... I hope you have other redeeming qualities. Like a winsome personality or a karaoke machine.

4. Buy a new car
    Ok, this one is completed more on a technicality. While not a "new" car, I just this year bought my very own used car to replace the 21 year old beater I was driving around since I got my drivers license at 16. SO, it's new to me. That counts right?

5. Graduate college with honors
    Did I mention I was an honor student in high school? Yeah, I may have been a little grade-focused when I made this list... But good news! I graduated magna cum laude from my alma mater. I'm guessing for those of you who only picked out a few key words in that sentence (namely cum and mater), you probably didn't... Come on guys! What did I tell you about those minds in the gutter?

6. Learn to drive a motorcyle
    This wonderful bucket list item was shortly followed by a NEW bucket list item - "learn to CRASH a motorcyle" - good times... To be fair, I just laid it on its side... twice... and broke the side mirror... and road burned by ankle so now there's a nasty keloid scar... Ok, moving on!

Let's just say I'm not too keen to be driving a "donor-cycle" again any time soon

7. Parachute from an Airplane

    Just gonna throw out that I'm not sure why the "from an airplane" indicator was needed. But hey, I've completed this one twice! Want the proof (and why it's awesome) - see this blog post! Now don't backtalk me young man! You go read it now! ...Ok, good.

8. Get married

    Woo! Done! Check it off the list! ... No, I didn't get married JUST because the list said so... for reals... I kind of love him and stuff...

 

3 Things That WERE on My List that I don't really care about now

1. Learn how to surf

    While the idea of surfing does sound cool, I've decided with my particular distaste of the ocean (and things living IN the ocean), I don't mind taking this one off the list...

Ha...ha... no, really, that's ok. You go on without me.

2. Scuba dive in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans as well as the Gulf of Mexico

    Ok, so for this one, I will say that I DO actually have my scuba diving license. The down side, though, is that I learned "how to SCUBA" in landlocked Eastern Washington which meant doing the written course and then the practical learning in a pool followed by my final test dive in a large lake. 

I did really enjoy it though. I would like to do it again someday - but the equipment is on the expensive side since I don't own it AND at this point I'd probably have to do a refresher course. 

But overall, if I don't scuba dive in all the water surrounding the United States, I think I'll be ok.

3. Attend a high school reunion

    High school on the brain much? Let's blame it on the "beer" goggles known as graduating in a month and already missing my friends. Though I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to going to a high school reunion, I don't know that I'd care much if I missed them either... Just being honest.

So, I was going to do a picture like THIS:

But decided against it.

So we're going to go with this one instead since at least everyone will understand it...

Bitchy? Perhaps... True? Hell yes.

And FINALLY we come to a small compilation of my current Goals in Life - or Bucket List, as it were.

                    

10 Things Currently on My Bucket List

Though I'm sure there are many more - both practical and boring as well as exciting, daring things I just can't think of off the top of my head. But here's what I have at the moment:

                

Travel Related:

                 

1. Go on a Cruise!

    We considered this for our Honeymoon but decided to save our money for a bit. I'm hoping, though, once our loans are paid off (or close) - don't worry, only 2-3 years away, we're focused! - we can celebrate with a cruise. I'd actually really like to do a summer Alaskan cruise sometime - I hear it's beautiful.
 

Um... but maybe not THAT cruise-line...

 

2. Visit New York and Washington D.C.

    Though I'm sure there are many wonderful U.S. locations to visit (I've been to a few - Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, New Orleans, podunk Washington) - I'd especially like to see these two both for their historical and entertainment qualities.

                             

3. See a Broadway show (or more than one!)

    Going hand-in-hand with the New York trip, you HAVE to see a Broadway show. Or, at least, I do. As a theatre person this is one of the 10 Holy Commandments of Theatritude. So unless I want Babs herself to come down from Heaven and strike me down for my heathen ways, it must be done at some point in my life... Wait... Barbara Streisand is still alive... Well, still!

Wrong Babs... Though that one would come down from Heaven and strike me down too...

 

4. Tour Europe

    Especially England, Ireland, France, Germany and Italy! I've already been to London and would LOVE to go back. Or live there. Definitely go back AND live there. But of all the places in the world I'd like to visit, Europe is top of the list. Cliche? Perhaps. But in the words of the immortal Rhett Butler, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." 

               

Creativity Related:

 

 5. Taking Lessons - Singing, Dancing and Creative Writing
     In the attempt at personal improvement, I'd like to get better in the creative areas I enjoy - singing, dancing (acting), writing and so on. So at some point, I'd like to take lessons for these things. Pretty much as simple as that.
                          
6. Finish a novel (and try to get it published)
    So... I've been working on various stories since I was in the 6th grade. I often have novel ideas and have even gotten pretty far on a couple. Then, of course, I get self-conscious and wrapped up in editing my work and end up scrapping the whole thing... but you know. Whatever.
SO one of these days I would like to ACTUALLY complete one of my stories and perhaps get it published.

 

7. Write a play (and try to get it publish)

    This one I actually HAVE done - I wrote a play for my high school senior project and directed it for a weekend of performances. And I LOVED it. I'd love to write another play or two. I have some particularly fun ideas with modernizing Shakespeare comedies... just saying.

8. Direct at least 10 shows in 15 years

    They say goals are supposed to measurable and attainable and all that other crap right? Well there you go - a specific number of shows I'd like to play a hand in directing. Luckily, I've done a few directing and assistant directing gigs so far and looking forward to a couple/few this season as well. It's gonna be Totally Awesome! And for everyone who knows me, know that I'm an awesome director mostly because I'm really good at being bossy. Comes with the firstborn territory.

 

 

Also, I'm dead sexy...

           

Home Related:

          

9. Be Debt Free!

    Remember that earlier point about attending a private liberal arts college? And the fact that I came out with an English Major, Theatre Minor? And the fact that I met my husband at college so we BOTH have fairly ginormous college loan debt? Good times.

In better news though, staying on a zero-budget (Dave Ramsey program, baby!) we're working on becoming debt free! Making our money work for us instead of being in debt until we have our own kids' college to think about... As it is, we have less than half our original debt amount, NO credit cards (and refuse to) and no car payments! So in another 2-3 years of throwing money at the beast, otherwise known as Alma Mater (be good, guys), we will be debt free! So definitely looking forward to that.

 

10. Have midgets (aka children)

... though there's nothing wrong with midgets. Midgets are fine too... actually it may be better if we have midgets given my dad's seeming affinity for people of little stature. Ok, I'm going to stop saying midgets now before the Political Correct Police (PCP... wait a minute...) come after me.

Not everyone wants kids and that's ok, but I always have wanted at least 2 kids to torment in the appropriate parental way - aka excellent mom jeans and dad jokes. We're gonna rock it.

 



 

And that's it! That I can think of. At the moment...
So, let me know what you think in the comments - like my bucket list? Think I'm missing something super important? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks all! Until next time... stay awesome (I'm just going to assume you are. So, you know, try and live up to your potential ok?)

The True Meaning of the "F" Word

It's FRIDAY kids. And you know what that means? We get to talk about our favorite (hot-topic) "F" Word. Nope, it's not Friday, Freedom or French Fries (though those are kickass words in my book). We mean the BIG F-WORD.

Alright, it's about time we sit down and have a talk about the TRUE meaning of the "F" Word... NO, not THAT F-word. I'm talking about *whispers* F...eminism... What? Who said that?


FEMINISM!

OHMYGOONESS NOOOOOO!!!!

Sheesh! No need to shout. Actually, maybe there is... but we'll get to that in a minute.
So, I realize that today's post will possibly upset some people and perhaps push some buttons. But you know what? I'm feeling in the button-pushing mood. So let's do this.
At the same time though, please keep in mind that what I'm NOT doing today is THIS:

Yeah... that's not what this is...

Apparently, in our culture today, even whispering the word is worse than, you know, that OTHER F-word... But do you really know the true meaning? The definition as well as what it stands for?



Merriam-Webster Definition:

feminism

noun fem·i·nism \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\

 

1:  the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities

2:  organized activity in support of women's rights and interests

 

THAT'S IT! It's really just that simple. SO, do you think that men and women should be equal have have equal rights and opportunities (equal pay for the same exact job, not be discriminated against because of gender for job or other opportunities, etc.)? 

Yes? Well, guess what? You're a feminist. Nope, don't argue. I'm talking DENOTATION - the literal, definition of the word. 

 

 

 

When it comes to CONNOTATION - the general meanings we attribute to words in our culture, it gets a little bit trickier. But let me break it down here for you.

What Feminism IS:

Um, I LITERALLY just gave you the definition above. Here, maybe this picture will help make it simple and clear:

WHAAAT!? Whoa, that totally just blew my mind, dude. WOMEN are PEOPLE!? You mean, just like MEN!????

Yup, that's pretty much it.
That means treating ALL people with equality both socially, politically and any other way you can think of. That doesn't mean men and women are THE SAME. There's a difference. Men and women have their differences and every individual has their own personality whether that fits into your gender stereotype molds or not.
BUT, feminism is the belief that men and women alike should be treated with the same respect and given the same opportunities and political, economic and social equalities.

What Feminism IS NOT:

Wow, this list could really be long. But I'm just going to hit the main points of what people THINK Feminism (oh the pejoratives! ... grammar nerds, you get me) is, even though they're wrong.

•  Not About Hating Men - I'm sorry, were you not listening? I just said EQUAL. That doesn't mean women are better than men. That doesn't mean men are evil, chauvinistic rapists that want to bring all women down. That's called MISANDRY. Look it up. Oh wait, I've done it for you: "misandry: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e., the male sex)." That's not true feminism. While there may be a handful of men in the world that actually ARE those awful things above, being pro-women does NOT mean being anti-man.
            
• Not About Being Radical - While there was historically a Radial Feminist Movement - you've heard of the one; bra-burning, men-hating women shouting their cries of patriarchy and "the man" - yeah that was the 70's folks. It's pretty sad when in 2015, we're still having the same argument about equality (granted, things have changed and there has been real progress since then), but still. You don't have to be radical and beat people over the head with your ideology to promote equality or show that belief in your choices.
            
• Not Against Motherhood - Some argue that you can't be a feminist if you are a wife or a mother, or if you don't work full time. That's simply not true. Feminism is about CHOICE. You can choose to have kids or not, you can choose to be a stay-at-home mom or not, you can choose to run your household with your significant other (as applicable) however you want. Equality means just that. You actually get the choice.
                 
• Not About Appearances - You don't have to be a lesbian to be a Feminist. Hell, you don't even have to be a WOMAN to be a Feminist. There are those who argue that feminists are all "ugly, dykes just trying to get attention" - well, for one, rude. For two, wrong. Pro-equality can look like pretty much anything. You can be tough, mild, pretty, plain, man, woman, other. Doesn't matter what you look like. It's about the meaning. (See definition above on meaning)
              
• Not an Outdated Argument - Many recently have been arguing that feminism isn't needed anymore so stop yelling about it. Well those people are wrong. Statistically in the U.S. (on average), women make 81 cents for every dollar men earn doing the SAME jobs. Worldwide, women are treated in all manners as inferior to men. It's not just about money and it's not just about rape. Look at any interview for men and women, say, in a movie together. Just watch: the interviewers ask men thought-provoking questions about how they prepared for their character's portrayal of blah, blah, blah. What do they ask the women? Beauty secrets, what underwear they wore to fit into their costume, the list goes on.
  
  The fight is not over.

 Overall, this quote sums it up:

Also, a REALLY great speech made by Emma Watson (you know, that awesome lady from the Harry Potter movies who played Hermione and kicked everyone's ass while also being really smart and didn't care what people thought of her frizzy hair?) She made a beautiful speech about Feminism and equality AND how men also struggle with gender inequality and how if we're to make a different against Gender Inequality, we need to work together. If you get a moment, read the speech here, or watch the video for Emma Watson's UN address. #HeForShe

So, that's really all there is to it. There are women against feminism and the "Men's Rights Movement" who argue against feminism for a number of dumb reasons and argue that men's rights are being ignored or that men can't do things women can do, respectively. Just a quick response to them:

1. To the "Women Against Feminism" - you make no sense to me. As a woman, how can you not want to be treated with respect or as a human being? Do you WANT to be considered inferior or be looked at, unfortunately as many women are in the world, as an object or something men own? Like a pet? Ok, if that's really what you want. Doesn't make sense to me, but you know what? As a Feminist, I believe YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY AND BELIEVE THAT. I know, counter-intuitive right?
   I may disagree with you, but as a person who believes in equality for all, that also means you have the choice to call yourself an Anti-Feminist. I don't get it. But that's your decision.
   
2. To the "Men's Rights" Advocates - you make no sense to me. Arguing against feminism in the name of "Men's Rights" is like arguing against Civil Rights for minorities in the name of "White Rights" - you already HAVE the rights. Being the majority means you inherently have the privilege and power that comes with that. Your argument is stupid. End of story.

 

That's enough ranting for one day. And to the lovely, argumentative people who may be just THAT awful to ask, let me answer your questions now: No, I don't hate men; No, I am not a lesbian (did you READ this blog?); No, I am not PMS-ing; Yes, I may in fact be a bitch - the jury's still out; Yes, I believe ALL people, men and women alike SHOULD BE FEMINISTS because (refer to definition) it's about equality for everyone. That's all. 

Want to read more from another source? Here's a great article about the word Feminism and common issues people have with it.

Thanks again for reading! Like my blog and think your friends would love to hear my snarky rants? Feel free to share! See the social media buttons on the side of this blog for the quick links. Also, thanks for sharing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strong, Competitive, Inspiring Athletes? That's right - Dancers!

You want to know the truth when it comes to athletics? Dancers are the most badass athletes there are. No, no, I see you shaking your head in doubt and disbelief. But you know what? You're wrong!

First of all, I am in no way discounting the amazing skill and training needed to be athletes in various sports - basketball, baseball, football... let's just lump them all together as the Sportsball Players. They're strong, yes. Talented, yes. Hard-working, yes.

Hmm, I wonder if that hotdog guy would throw me one...

HOWEVER, Dancers, of all kinds (but I'll be focusing a lot in Ballet in this post) must be all those things that Sportsball Players are - strong, talented, hard-working, deal with intense competition, train daily, keep a certain physique, eat a LOT of protein and maintain a specific diet AND ALSO look beautiful, move with grace and make it seem completely effortless.

If you're anything like me when you try to dance...
 
                      

... you'll know that is NOT an easy feat.

Speaking of feet (whatever, it sounds the same...)
In addition to the normal injuries suffered by many athletes - pulled muscles, tendonitis, broken ligaments, dancers depend so much on their feet (and ankles) for their job.

So beautiful, amazing, gorgeous on the outside and THESE BABIES underneath those silky pink shoes:

Honey bear - give me foot rub, will you?

• Broken nails
• Callouses
• Bunions
• Blisters 
• Broken bones

FUN FACT (depending on what your definition of "fun" is, of course) - Did you know that it takes 3 years of ballet training, if not more, before most teachers will even allow you to start training "en pointe"? You know those beautiful pink ballet slippers with the block of wood in the toe letting those lean tutu-d girls stand on their tip-toes... yeah, THOSE shoes = en pointe.

AND it takes over a year for a ballet dancer to get used to dancing in pointe shoes (read: over a year of pain before adjusting) - that's intense.


The reason it takes so long is that the shoes actually cause the bones in your foot to re-form over time, allowing you to be accustomed to walking on your tip-toes - and spin, and so on - for the sake of beauty and the art of Classical Dance.

Those who know anything about dance know how it takes YEARS of devotion, practice and dedication to maintain any semblance of ability, let alone if you want to become a professional.
Speaking of amazing professionals - SHOUT-OUT to the amazing women like Misty Copeland (who just became the 1st African American principal dancer in the American Ballet Theater) who are paving the way for diversity in classical dance and showing the world that there are many shades of beautiful!

 

It is also an INCREDIBLY competitive profession. Like many other art forms, joining the theatre, creating art pieces or any other sort of singing, dance, or skilled profession in 'The Arts,' professional dance is incredibly competitive.
They hold dance competitions and the select few win trophies, accolades and the select fewer win scholarships and places in professional dance companies. Of course, those who are even considered typically study dance for YEARS from the age of two to four until they're old enough to start working, aka 16-18.
Talk about intense pressure both physically and psychologically for your small children... Woo!
No wonder you see so many cases of the "Stage Mom" - we'll go into that one in another post, I'm sure. 

Ok, only 15 years, 8 months and 3 days of training to go...

But for those who "make it" - they can work so long as they're fit, able, and in the prime of their lives. Most people would laugh if you told them you're retiring in your mid to late 30's, but that's the reality in this world...

Want to learn more about the world of Ballet and how freaking amazing they are? I would highly recommend watching First Position (currently on Netflix) - a ballet documentary that will give you a bit more insight than watching the Hollywood skew in movies like Center Stage or Save the Last Dance or, for goodness sakes, The Black Swan (though an interesting psychological and artistic take on the subject...)

Be forewarned - may cause feelings of extreme envy or outbursts of
"DAAAAAMMMN - I wish I could do HALF of what that 11 year old can do!"

All in all - Dancers are AMAZING athletes and while Sportsball is all fine and dandy, dance is where it's at. AND, if you really want to be an even BETTER Sportsball player, take dance lessons. Guaranteed focus on strength, balance, core control, muscle control and building, and the many other emphases in dance that can only improve your sporting performance!

Until next time, folks! In the mean time, join a dance class! Yeah, maybe you're "too old" to become a professional - join the club - but it's a lot of fun and a BEAST of a workout!

WARNING: Now entering "BEAST MODE" - avert your eyes from the awesomeness...

I know I've just have a brief overview here - but what do you think about dancers and athletes? Would you agree? Feel free to post your comments below! I'd love to hear your input.

ps - Here's just a few pictures of some amazing ballet dancers, for your enjoyment.
Also, see this link to Ballet Dancers doing everyday activities - super cool!

 

 

Naming Your Baby (Right)

Congratulations! You're preggers! You've got a little minion on the way and you're thinking about all the awesome, beautiful, unique names you want to name him/her/it.

This is your official, though admittedly somewhat sarcastic, guide to naming your baby right! In other words, how to name your child so you don't end up on Oprah's "Why My Parents Hate Me" episode OR, you know, murdered by the child you decided to name Joachim Kroll (oh wait... that really WAS a serial killer...)

Dear Mom and Dad, please don't give me a stripper name...

  
In any case, you want to name your child something good, yet special. There are just a few things you should consider - you know, a couple things to think about briefly before saying "screw it, her name is La Fawnduh!"

Brownie points for the phonetic spelling though...

Full disclosure - I don't have kids (yet) but as a young married woman, and as a writer of fiction stories, I've thought of my fair share of names. So while I don't yet have the bun-in-the-oven, I have put a decent amount of thought into how to name your precious bundle of joy. Or your main character for your next sparkly-vampire tween romance novel... Either way, really.

What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet..."

No Shakespeare fans? Come on! It's an easy one! I'll give you a hint... the main characters die at the end. 

So you're naming your baby! The single word or two (or three if you're feeling lucky) that your child is going to have to answer to for the rest of their lives! So, no pressure.

When choosing their name(s) - especially first, but also middle name(s), consider these things:

Family Names

All the men in your family name their first son Dwayne. You're Dwane Eustace IV...
Great grandma Beatrice, on her death bed, asked for you to name one of your daughters after her.

There are many reasons people choose to name their kids family names - their mother's maiden name that will disappear in your generation, so you make it the baby's middle name; honoring grandparents; malicious glee at naming your only child Earl... Whatever the case may be, consider the reasons WHY you might want to use a family name or why not. If the answer is external family pressure, decide how much it matters to you - maybe bury the name as a middle or second middle name. Or choose the D.A.R.E. slogan and "Just Say No"

Damn it! I'm NOT Simba! Seriously, you see a lion and just assume... Rude.

Family names, while perfectly acceptable, are NOT required. Though you may feel some guilt for breaking with tradition, if you really don't want a family name for your child, that's your choice.
Again, consider your choices and reasons why and make the right choice for yourself.

Traditional Names

You've all heard them - there's a TON of them:

Elizabeth (and every nickname possible), Jane, Emily, Natalie, Christina, Mary...
William, John, Robert (Bob), Matthew, Christopher, James, Peter, Paul and Mary...


You get the idea.

Often religious, traditional names have been around for a long time. Often long enough to see gender-bending days - did you know Shannon, Alison, and Whitney (among others) used to only be men's names... True story.

Though typically solid, strong names (hence the reason they've been around for so flipping long), be careful: DO NOT to fall into the TRAP of the Top 100 baby names (or at least the Top 20).
Take it from a Jessica born a year it was the #1 girls name, your child will get tired of having to so often clarify WHICH Jessica, or Emma, or Jacob, or Liam they are.
Having to constantly add on the first initial of your last name or being told you have to come up with weird nicknames for clarification is annoying as SHi...itake mushrooms.

Just don't do it. Look up the list of the Top (Whatever #) Baby Names for that year and post it on your fridge as "what not to name the poor child"

Unique Names

On the other side of that ugly-stick is the issue of unique names - please don't beat your child with it.
Ok, maybe that analogy was a little much... But remember the La Fawnduh joke? Yeah... I've seen a lot of interesting names, especially working at a children's theatre.

In any case, suffice it to say, while Unique, by definition, means one of a kind - you also do not want your child to hate you forever. Try to find a balance between the "boring" traditional John and the "F-lipping Hell, Mum and Dad" unique of Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa (yes, for the younger folks reading this... those ARE real people).

Just saying, there are some names that are a beautiful and unique and then there are fads like Hashtag... Please by all that is good and holy don't name your poor child #hashtag!

#FUParents #ChildProtectiveServices

So try to find that balance if you're going for a unique name. And just an extra tip - if you decide on the unique, try to spell it phonetically. People are going to read it how it looks and say it how it sounds anyway, so might as well make it easier for them. Good job, La Fawnduh!

Name Meanings

Something to also consider when choosing your baby's name - what does it mean?
All names have some sort of origin - even if it was made up by Shakespeare (oh hey, my name WAS actually made up by Shakespeare... yay!)

Name meanings can be really important to you - or not at all important. Either way, at least KNOW what the name means before you accidentally step in it by giving your kid a name that means "bitter" for example - Mary, Maria... just saying.

Side note - for writers like me who enjoy giving symbolic meanings to their characters, I enjoy playing around on BabyNames.com for all the fun name meanings.

Other Things to Consider

Before the mockery and eternal hatred ensues...

Nicknames

Speaking of nicknames - you can't name your kid something without also considering what people might shorten it to. Yes, you may be one of those people who insist, "achem, no, it's Timothy, not TIM"... BUT other people are often going to shorten names for ease, as a means of being buddy-buddy or whatever other reason.

Some names have a LOT of potential nicknames: Elizabeth = Eliza, Beth, Liz, Lizzie, Bessie (apparently that's a thing...)
Other's just a few: Christopher = Chris (and those who say Topher are just dumb.)

 

So think about what doofy-ass names your kid's middle school friends are going to call him, because more often than not, your little Richard is going to be a Dick.

Initials

You might think it's adorable to name your daughter Francesca Una Nelson (FUN) but what happens when later in like she marries that Klein boy? (oh FUK). Overall, think about the way your kids initials are going to line up. Even if it's not going to change, don't be those parents who name their kid something that accidentally spells something gross or otherwise bad. It seems simple but you'd be surprised how it can get overlooked.

Also, word to the wise, just because it doesn't have a vowel in the middle doesn't mean people aren't going to try to sound it out anyway - just like the license plate game where you laugh at the one that says PMPLS - you know what it says and so does everyone else. So keep that in mind for your child's sake.

 

Overall Spelling

I'm going to keep this one short and simple - if you love your child at all, spell their name in a straightforward way.

No one wants to correct EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD who ever spells their name, "No, actually it's Kaitlynne" even if it's a somewhat average-sounding name.

Nuff said.

Lesser Considerables:

Syllables

I'm sorry, but Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch... that's a ridiculous amount of syllables for any child's name - no matter how schmexy the man is...

HELLS YESSS IT DOES...     

Fads/Cultural Relevance

There are some names that have historical relevance and can have a negative connotation - Jezebel, Lucifer, Justin Bieber...

Others can be good or bad but show up a lot after famous people, shows, movies, books, etc. - Katniss, Arya, Albus Severus...

Whatever the case may be, consider if you REALLY want to name your kid after a fad that may be going away any year (or minute) now. The kid may not thank you for it in the long run.

Unisex Names

Remember those names I mentioned that are now girls names that used to be only for guys? Some folks do the opposite as well, however successful or unsuccessful it may be. Again, think about the effect it'll have on your kid growing up and the potential psychiatry fees you'll be paying later.

Some names go well for boys or girls - but be aware of the double edged sword here. While that can be nice to have your Jordan or Casey or Sam, keep in mind that it may cause potential confusion and/or embarrassment if and when they're confused for the wrong gender.
Not saying it necessarily happens AFTER the hard-to-identify-gender baby stage, BUT... let's just say it could happen.

They can't tell if I'm a boy or a girl... Should I tell them? HAHA, nope!

 In any case, think about if you WANT a gender-neutral name or not. Totally up to you.

    

OVERALL

Consider these words of wisdom I bequeath unto you. You're welcome.
In the end, it's your baby. If it makes you feel any better, just know that there will always be someone who thinks the name you chose is the stupidest thing ever... Best of luck with the baby naming and the baby-making!

(you guys! I TOTALLY mean baby-making in the sense of those writers creating characters and it's their "baby" - sheesh!)


Want to read more of my snark? Consider these fun options for those of you Attending a Wedding, or perhaps you're Going to be IN a Wedding - that one's for you! And for those of the more daring nature, check out Why Skydiving is Awesome and You Should Totally Do It! Or you know... just click on the links on the side of the blog. :)

Thanks!