This isn't Flying, it's Falling With Style!

Think of the #1 thing on your bucket list. Ok, let's be real for a moment - the #1 thing on pretty much EVERYONE'S bucket lists...

Yeah, you know the one...

SKYDIVING!

aka, Roller Coaster on Steroids   
aka, Falling With Style (thank you Buzz & Woody... guys, I said don't make it weird!)



You ask most people what's one thing they'd like to do before they die (kick the bucket) and unless they have an incapacitating fear of heights, they'll say Skydiving.

And I can tell you from experience - it's freaking awesome!
So awesome, in fact, I went twice! (no, not in the same day - though if you're willing to pay for it, most places will let you).

I mean, let's face it, where else can you get GORGEOUS pictures like this?

So today I'm going to tell you, in great story-telling fashion, why skydiving is totally awesome and you should do it (if you want to).

Sorry (not sorry) - Couldn't help it...

RISING ACTION

Before you fall, you must fly.
Deep, right? I know - I'm all poetic and shit. But really you literally, and I do mean LITERALLY, have to fly up before you jump out at 12,000 feet. At least when doing it the normal way - there are other crazy ways to parachute, base jumping and such but since I haven't done those (yet), we'll stick to the basic parachuting experience.
Also, before you can learn to jump solo (many lessons and jumps later), you must take that first initial Tandem Jump.
That's right - strap on that tall, muscly man like a teddy bear backpack and jump for it, beetches!

Preparing for Parachuting

Let's just assume you've already made the decision and set the appointment at your local dive-school.

Step #1 - You're gonna pay!
No, really. Skydiving is a bit spendy (if you're poor or a college student... so same thing). My jump cost around $250 on it's own. That doesn't include the pictures OR video OR BOTH you can purchase separately for another $80-150... Plane fuel costs money guys, get over it.
In any case, be prepared to shell out the dough for that adrenaline-pumping bucket list fulfillment.

Step #2 - Sign your life away
Watch a video about the many potential dangers of parachuting and sign your life away. No, for reals. You have to sign a liability waiver saying you understand the dangers and want to do the dangerous thing anyway. That you take FULL responsibility and promise not to sue them if you die. That sort of thing...

Step #3 - How to: Fall in Style
Not scared away yet? Good. Now just a few more HOURS of the boring junk before your 2 minutes of awesome. Haha, you think I'm joking? That's cute...

The training portion itself probably only takes about an hour, if that - learning how swing back and forth (while attached at the hips and shoulders to some random dude you just met) before swinging OUT OF THE PLANE, how to position your body (yep, the dude is still there...), how to arch properly (just ignore him), and all those other important things, like where the backup 'chute is in case the main one malfunctions (aka Farts in your General Direction [insert Ted and Robin salute here], ok, I'll stop, I promise), and how to land without breaking your legs... All the good stuff.

It's the waiting that's the biggest pain in the ass. Again, I mean that literally... Or I guess, more accurately, biggest pain in the crotch:

He's smiling now... but 2 hours of that harness pinching his junk will tell a different story...

Pay the fees, wait your turn then watch your video and sign your life away, wait, meet your instructor. Wait. Watch the 2, 3, 4, groups before you go up in the plane (20 minutes up) and jump (2 minutes down - each), wait some more. In the harness. All the goodness.
Wait, what's that!? You've got the excited/nervous pees? Hahaha... Boys, you've got it slightly easier there... Girls, better take off that harness and put it back on when you're done. Oh yeah, then wait some more.

Step #4 - the MOST anxious plane ride
FINALLY, your turn and you get on the little plane. Cram in there like sardines and, oh yeah, scoot that booty right close to your instructor's business (aka random guy you just met, up close and inside the personal bubble... hey! I said, stop making it weird!)
Don't worry, in a few minutes you get to strap your hips to his and your shoulder straps to his too.

Nice and snug? Oh and there's another few people in your lap? Yep, sounds about right.
Hope you're comfy. Remember that 20 minute plane ride I told you about?
Yeah... It takes around 20 minutes to get up to altitude before you get to jump - that's about 12,000 feet. WOO!

So might as well take a selfie:

... while sitting in your Random Dude's lap...

   

CLIMAX

Like any good story - it's got to have an epic climax! (Oy! Don't make me tell you again... I will turn this car around!)
What goes up must come down. And that means out the door, unless you chicken out or have health issues and thereby turn the trip into the most disappointing plane ride you've ever had...

Side note! Did you know if you talk too much while riding the plane up, you can have a lack of oxygen issue due to the high altitudes called hypoxia where you start to feel faint and like you're going to pass out... yeah. Me either. Until it happened on Round 2 (don't worry - I went back up with the next group after my disappointing plane ride and got to jump again).
You've been warned - keep the chit-chat to a minimum. Don't worry, you have other things to think about - like how you're about to WILLINGLY jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

The Jump

This is it! The climactic moment you've trained for (a couple hours still counts!). The moment when for a solid 10 seconds (in my professional estimate), you get that feeling of weightlessness and flood of adrenaline. So basically, the 10 seconds you just paid $350 for (plus pics). The RUSH.

HOLY SHITBALLS WHAT THE F-HELL WAS I THINKING - GAAAAHHHH!

Yeah, also pretty much guaranteed you're going to make a sexy face like this the first time out. Just saying...

I will say this, though. Those first 10 seconds of falling... Totally worth it! The feeling is similar to the first time you're on a roller coaster and go over that first big hill. That drop in your stomach. Except times twenty!
Pretty sure this is the moment I acknowledged I could easily be an adrenaline junkie.
It's scary, and crazy and so incredibly fun.

    

FALLING ACTION

After that first 10 seconds of awesome comes the fall. The less-awesome-but-still-pretty-cool moments of air rushing by your head as you plummet from 12,000 feet (sometimes higher).

This is the Free-fall.

Imagine driving on the freeway... ok, fine, make it legal - the Autobahn - at 115 mph with your head out the window. Except instead of traveling forward, you're falling DOWN. That's probably fairly similar to how it feels.
 

It's pretty common for your mouth to dry out - as the wind is blowing by you so fast - yeah, your lips might be fluttering and smacking around a bit. That happens.

Similarly, as you work hard to remember those arm and feet positions (your body becomes a C - where your back is the curved part) and that arch, the air is SUPER loud as it blows by your ears.

You might find yourself smiling a lot at the exhilaration, and the funny way it tickles when the air rushes up your nose...

In other words - making for REALLY GORGEOUS pictures.


So this part of the free-fall, not including the awesome first 10 seconds, is overall just ok. Loud, and whooshing (yes it's a verb - I just decided!), and a rush - all in all, lasts about a minute or so.
In and of itself, kind of boring.

So when people tell you to go indoor skydiving instead - "it's not as dangerous and just as fun!"
That's what you'll be getting. The boring part of the free-fall without the awesome view...

Hey Tiffany! I can see right down your shirt!!! WOOO...

... Well I guess it depends on your expectation of "view"...

So now that you've dropped from 12,000 or so feet to around 2,500 feet (give or take) in a matter of a couple minutes, it's time to pop that parachute.

Parachuting

The instructor (Random Dude you've come quite close to now...) pulls the ripcord. The parachute opens. You descend in a slower, more scenic ride down.

 

Give or take.
Just know when the parachute opens, without getting too technical, it yanks your whole freaking body upwards.

Have you ever, as a child, been picked up by your overall straps? No? Just me?
Ok, well it's somewhat like that. The entirety of your body weight grabbed up by the shoulders.

See, wasn't just me...

Yeah, and remember that beautiful harness? Guess where the pressure is... You've got it! Pinching on the inner leg/crotch area again.
Luckily, it's not too long - another 5 minutes or so as you float your way down.

Also, you're likely going to do some turns and maybe even a steep spiral or two (yay pinching the crotch and making your leg go dead for a second)
It really is a lot of fun though.

Also, for those more nervous - know your instructor handles the "driving" as you're in the air. You might get a chance to hold some secondary handles, but keep in mind it's the Random Dude that makes sure you come in for a safe landing.

Then, as you come to the end of the "fall" - you either walk it in with the dude stradle-walking behind you OR you slide in on your butt, feet in front of you. Don't worry, the instructor dude will tell you either way.

Safely on the ground again. See, that wasn't so bad!

So, unless you really WANT to play it the safe way...

... I'd say suck it up and strap on that tall, muscly man-backpack.
Honestly, it was one of the best experiences! (actually skydiving - not the floor-hugging crap that lady is doing)

Would I do it again?
Hells yes! If I had the money (and time), I would love to take the course (longer and more training) to learn to jump solo. That would be so awesome!

Would I recommend others do it?
Yes, but...
And what I mean by that is this. If you WANT to skydive, and so long as you KNOW the risks, I think you should do it. It's really amazing and seriously one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life that I'm sure others would also (and do) enjoy.

That being said - know the dangers, know what it costs, and know if you really want to go.
Also, for the sake of your crotch, don't wear jeans... 

Good luck and happy flying... achem... FALLING! (with style, of course, always with style)

You know you want to look THIS sexy with a Random Dude on your back too!

My first Tandem Jump... but not my last!

Thanks for reading! Have any other suggestions to add to my bucket list? I'd love to hear them in the comments below!

I'll be making my Official Bucket List post at some point soon - going over my list I made in high school, which ones I've done so far (like skydiving) and what my list has evolved to now! So keep an eye out for that one as it comes up!